I seem to have left my pride at pride
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize