NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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