i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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