did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
