am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
