Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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