Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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