we're chasing vodka with high fives
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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