i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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