dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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