my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
