Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize