i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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