his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
