No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
