i jhust puked up my retainher.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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