I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
