no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
