Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
