Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
