Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My feet surprised me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
