its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
