are you so shy because you have an std?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
