They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
