so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
