Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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