I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So squirting runs in the family.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
