He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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