I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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