dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
