Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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