Too much gin, very little bucket
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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