In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
