They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
