Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just threw up on my dentist
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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