i may or may not be watching the land before time
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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