Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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