FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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