I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
everyone is single if you try hard enough
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think people are normalizing furries
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
