Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
