Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want nice things and good sex
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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