How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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