apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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