i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize