Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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