I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
