Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize