But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize