So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
