my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
