We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
