she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He better not be in your backpack
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
