maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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