oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize