ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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