i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you had me at cake vodka
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
