Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need water and some morals
Success! We fucked roommates!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
