Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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