Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize