Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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